Strengthen Your Marriage
In-laws. Busy schedules. Money challenges. Kids. If your marriage or significant relationship is feeling more frayed or frantic than romantic, it is healthy to recognize that all relationships go through slumps and trials. Noticing the issue is the first step and taking the time and care to address it is the next.
Whether you are struggling to reconnect post-kids or feel like the spark has dwindled lately, these ideas can help bolster your relationship:
- Say “thank you” and “I’m sorry.” Say “thank you” when your partner passes you the cream for your coffee. Apologize when you’re late, even if it’s only a few minutes. These simple words can go a long way in creating positive vibes and appreciation. In addition, make sure that you listen just as much or even more than you talk; let the other person know that they are heard by looking them in the eye, nodding your head and waiting to speak until they have finished.
- Touch. Hold hands. Hug and kiss every day. Schedule sex, if needed. Staying connected physically with your partner increases feelings of pleasure and bonding and is a simple but significant way to reconnect when you’re feeling distant.
- Have your own life. While it is important to have regular time together as a couple, a life and interests of your own are also beneficial to your relationship. Time apart can be good for the soul and gives you a chance to do the things that fill your cup.
- Create a gratitude jar. It doesn’t have to be an actual jar (although that can be effective), but create a mechanism for writing down the things you are grateful for when it comes to each other and your relationship. Note just one thing per day and then take the time to read the words of appreciation each week.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes it is easy to express your thoughts and feelings and sometimes it is challenging to share what’s on your heart and mind. Regardless, open and honest communication is critical to the health of any relationship.
Likewise, counseling can be a healthy and productive option, giving both individuals the chance to express themselves and work through issues in a balanced and open forum.
“Every relationship has its ups and downs, and marriage involves a lot of communication, compromise and compassion,” said Dr. Jewelia Wagner. “When we listen, empathize and appreciate each other, it is easier to manage the challenges and tough times.”
