Coping with Repeated Miscarriage
Suffering through one miscarriage can be devastating. Multiple or recurrent miscarriages, defined as the loss of two or three consecutive pregnancies, can challenge even the strongest and most optimistic women and couples. While the causes of miscarriage are not always clear, challenges such as uterine issues, hormonal imbalances, cervical weakness, and blood-clotting issues or infections can often be addressed.
The heartening news is that most women who have a miscarriage will go on to have a healthy pregnancy.
“If you have had multiple miscarriages, this news might feel less than encouraging, but it is still good to know that the odds are in your favor,” said Dr. David Clay. “In the meantime, it is especially important to have someone to talk to and to take the best care possible of yourself.”
When coping with repeated pregnancy loss or supporting someone who is in a similar situation, the following can help with the healing process:
- Express your feelings. It is important to know that you are not alone. Options for discussion can include pregnant and infant loss support groups, a therapist, other friends who have suffered miscarriages and online groups. Make sure you find a safe space where you can discuss everything on your mind and heart.
- Talk with your doctor. Even if the cause of miscarriage is unclear, your doctor can offer resources and advice to support your physical and mental health. Ask questions, bring a trusted friend to your appointments and educate yourself as much as possible.
- Take a break. While you still want to be a good friend to others, if you need to take a break from baby showers and shopping trips for maternity clothes, that is ok. Let your friends know you love and support them but need some time for grieving and healing.
- Acknowledge your pregnancy. You can create a memorial for your baby such as a memory book, a planted tree or garden, a piece of jewelry or something else that keeps you in touch with their memory.
- Let go of blame, judgment and doubt. Be kind to yourself during this challenging time and release any tendencies to blame yourself or your partner. Likewise, everyone grieves differently so don’t expect your partner to have the exact same experience as you.